In less than a month, my husband will be leaving the country to go to war. I can't help but thinking that this is the reason that all of the other things happening in my life right now seem even harder to bear. He's not out of the country yet, but he's not at home, so I'm dealing with things all by myself. My eldest son has a number of problems, his Autism (and related issues) being the most difficult for me to handle alone. Oh and did I mention that my youngest son has just been diagnosed with a developmental delay? He'll be starting occupational therapy & speech therapy in the coming weeks. In the not-quite-so-extreme arena, my hair is growing out & has absolutely no style which makes me feel even more like a frumpy housewife than usual, my face is breaking out like a 14 year old and I'm getting ready to run out of Prozac (which will require me to go to the doctor & I really don't like going to the doctor). I miss my husband already. I want a warm day. I want my new glasses to be ready. I want to be a better mother. I want a friend who will come over for coffee or a girly movie night. I want to be able to write like I used to. I want more tattoos. I want to sleep a full night in my bed without the company of one or more children. I want the year to be over and to be giving my husband a welcome home kiss instead of a goodbye kiss.

It's funny how certain things can affect your mood. As I mentioned in my last post (geez, 20 days ago!), the husband is coming & going between here & there. I really miss him when he's not here. Specifically at night. Tonight I shaved my legs with his razor, put on one of his t-shirts to sleep in and listened to Pink Floyd (one of his favorite bands). Although it made me miss him a little more, at the same time it made me feel as if he were right next to me. This deployment is going to be tough.

Wow. Long time since my last post. The husband is leaving very soon. We sold our house & bought a new one in our hometown where the boys & I will live while the husband is away. We arrived in said new house a few weeks ago & are settling in. Still have boxes to unpack, though. The husband will be traveling back & forth from home to duty station every now & then between now & when he has to deploy. I'm tired & I'm lonely but I am home. I just wish my husband was going to be around more to enjoy it with me.

Well, after more than 4 years of being in the military and not having had to go "over there", the husband's number finally came up. We knew it was going to happen sometime, so it's no surprise. However, it's still not something I'm looking forward to. So much to do before he leaves... and we still don't know anything more than "sometime between October & January".

I just woke up from an afternoon nap with my boys and I was thinking how things have changed for me... 10 years ago my summer afternoons were spent at my boyfriend's house lying on the couch watching MTV. 7 years ago my summer afternoons were spent working my very first "real" job so that I could afford to pay rent at the house my roomate & I were renting. 5 years ago they were spent working so I could afford to support my newborn son as a single mother. 3 years ago they were spent as a newlywed and new to military life. 2 years ago my summer afternoons were spent dreaming of having another baby. 1 year ago, my summer afternoons were spent caring for my 2 sons, finally feeling that our family was complete. This summer, on those days that I can't wait for school to start again, or the days that I feel like all I do is laundry, or the days that I pick up a mess for the umpteenth time, I'll remind myself of those past summer afternoons, and remember that they only get better.

Mirin. Mid-twenties. Married. Military wife (Hooah). 2 sons (5 & 1). Stay-at-home mom. I cook (most of the time), I clean (semi-regularly) & I give a mean hand job. Not your average soccer mom, but not as outgoing as I used to be. Former bad girl. Tattooed. Pierced. Agnostic bordering on Atheist but jealous of those who are sure. Fan of Jose Cuervo (in an extra large shot glass with a lime instead of lemon, please). I'm a jeans & t-shirt girl but I clean up well when the need arises (read: Formal Military Events). Addicted to Mountain Dew & Noxzema. Brunette. Hates when people don't buckle their kids up in the car. Loves family & the internet. Procrastinator. Infrequent poster, but trying to change. More later (read: Procrastinator).